Pressure, pushing down on me, Pressing down on you, no man ask for...

Main Entry: pressure

Part of Speech: noun

Definition: demand, difficulty

Synonyms: adversity, affliction, albatross, burden, choke, clout, coercion, compulsion, confinement, constraint,crunch, discipline, distress, drag, duress, exigency, force, full court press, hardship, hassle, heat, hurry, influence, inside track, load, misfortune, necessity, obligation, persuasion, power, press, pressure cooker, pull, requirement, strain, stress, sway, tension, trouble, unnaturalness, urgency, weight 

   Pretty much sums it all up in the last few days. So many express to me what they expect of me, what I should be doing or how I do things. Apparently time is of the essence so to speak. Romans 13:11 states: And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. K.J.V. 

   Am I wishing to BE asleep? Does this show signs of an inward procrastination? Not to say that my Father has left me with unanswered prayers, yet I may have failed to see what truly is presented before me.

   I have 2 missionaries that come to see me pretty much on a weekly basis. one is so shy, the other is a freight train. I dearly love all that have come to see me and share their vision of the gospel of Christ. I have issues that unfortunately (from what I gather) is either my own true doubt because I have not seen nor felt. The other is as stated above as pressure. Am I allowing the pressure of work, family and the struggle to try and accommodate all creating a sense of anxiety to which I am burdened beyond capacity to rationally decide what God has in store for me? The proverbial Doubting Thomas?

John 20:24-25 reads:

24 Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”

So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” N.K.J.V.

   So, here I sit all broken hearted........... Yeah, I pretty much feel this way right now. disheartened and down trodden, broken and torn, these are the heart felt issues I strive with. May one day God see fit to settle an aging man's heart and heal all wounds. With this I pray Father with gratitude and humility, In the name of your Holy Son Jesus Christ, Amen. Oh by the way the title is a song by Queen( if you didn't already know).

Till death do us part......

   I would like to think of myself as one who loves his wife more than life itself.....As a matter of fact I would in all aspects of the theory, take a bullet for her. Now having said that, no offense, you might find it hard putting me in a situation to call for said bullet taking (rather me giving the bullets, not getting them). not paranoid just prepared. We will leave it at that.
   In the past I have been known for my stupidity and my stubbornness. taking for granted not only my gorgeous and humble wife but also my children and close personal friends. Crazy I know, but stranger things have happened.
   I lay here in a motel room hundreds of miles away from my family. doing what I do best, watch t.v.. Yep, a true blue channel flipper by profession. When I stopped on C.B.N. NO not C.B.S. and John Hagee was on. Now I am not a big fan of t.v. Evangelism, but Hagee has his moments......Well this was one of those moments.
    He spoke of a way a man should treat his wife. Ephesians 5:25 reads: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" K.J.V. or even this small passage from Genesis 2:24 which states: " Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. K.J.V. (Not using a meat cleaver) but this....  

Main Entry:	cleave
Part of Speech:	verb
Definition:	stand by, stick together
Synonyms:	abide by, adhere, agree, associate, attach, be devoted to, be tight with, be true, cling, cohere, combine, freeze to, hold, join, link, remain, stay put, unite

Pretty big shoes to fill if I may say so, but I also do not see myself loving her in the way God commanded. Not that I hate her or some such, I just ain't doing it right. I am A VERY SELFISH PERSON!! I love things done my way. See told you so.Which definitely does not coincide with the words given by Paul to those in Colosse. Colossians 3:19, which reads: " Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter with them." N.K.J.V.
   I pray that someday soon I will truly understand and place into practice the word herein, but until then... I shall strive daily to be the man that my Father in Heaven expects of me. Jewelz please forgive a stubborn and selfish fool. I do so love you.

Silent Humility

I remember a song by the band Queensryche, singing of Silent Lucidity. Lucidity of which, being clarity. So the rhyming of humility seemed appropriate. Humility being humble or reserve, I have really tried to see what God had been whispering in my ear this hectic last few days.

   It all started at work in Panaca, NV. A 4 o'clock A.M. start in 18* weather. Packing my bags into my truck I found myself in a predicament I haven't been apart of for the last ten years....I locked my keys in the truck. Being 100 miles from home, I found myself in a tight spot. My even keeled wife was still fast asleep in our nice warm bed, in said 100 miles away. Whilst I searched the limits of my conscience to solve this quandary. Resorting to my only option at the moment. I called my co-worker to please drive the 11 miles to come get me so we could start our day. This of course set us behind about an hour for work but that is neither here nor there. After our shift ended he graciously assisted me in an attempt to open my truck door. 2 hours later I was back on the road headed the 100 miles home to see my lovely family.
   If it pleases, I am a man of doing. I can do this stuff all by myself, proud in my abilities. Most often creating off the wall and unorthodox solutions to difficult issues. Accepting the fact that there are things in this world that I am not able to resolve of my own accord is a very large and starch coated pill for me to swallow. Grateful for his help, yet upset that I would have done such a ludicrous deed, brought feelings of doubt and personal frustration. Oh I ain't done there's more......
   That afternoon I made my way into the shop to meet with mt supervisor and to settle up with my monetary obligations with the C.E.O. of our company. With much ado about every little thing, I left with money in my hand but a sinking feeling in my heart. My job description is as such: I DO WHAT THE BOSS TELLS ME TO DO. Not real hard but not quite easy either. Being the type of person I am, I do not carry credit cards of any type. Which in the eyes of my C.E.O. is ridiculous and a pain in his behind due to the fact that whenever I go out of town he must front the money for my excursions into the wilds of Nevada. Apparently even though this is his company and his money, he would rather just write me a check after the fact to pay off my credit card debt. Um nope, sorry that ain't gonna happen folks.
   The very next morning I found myself in a similar conundrum. attaching all the product for one of our customers on the wrong invoice number. This creates hostility with the customer because we have to rescan all the product into their system once more. Not to mention I have to void my invoice and start another. Thus re-creating the same feelings as the previous day.
   Your probably wishing I would get to the point already, but background for me is a must in telling of a story. More often than not the background info is the story. Well I became quite irritated at the fact that he knew I do not carry credit cards yet is complaining about the fact that he had to pay for my next few trips to the great white north.
   Humility......being reserved, accepting the fact that it is his money and his company. I work for him, he was gracious enough to give me the job that I have. Mosiah 3:19 reads:

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticements of the Holy Spirit, and puts off the natural man and becomes a saint throughthe atonement of Christ the Lord, and becomes as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord sees fit to inflict upon him, even as a child submits to his

father." B.O.M

   Who sees fit? God. so when do we know when to submit, always. 

In Abot 4.4  it reads:  Be of an exceedingly humble spirit, for the end of man is the worm.  Judaism. Mishnah

At this point I pray humility and gratitude may someday be apart of me, with the grace of God.

Well this pretty much sums it up.

So I was listening to my ipod today on my way back from the hills and this song sums up how I feel and how I believe. The artist is Disciple, the cd is " this might sting a little" and the song is "I just know"

"I just know Jesus is the way
I just know Jesus is the truth
I just know Jesus is the life
I just know Jesus is my God

what makes you different from one another
why do you argue about who you follow
there is no man that you belong to
there's only one God that can claim you

I don't care if you don't speak in tongues
I don't care if you're into submersion
what does it matter if wear a liturgical robe
or prophesy and say God said so

I just know Jesus is the way
I just know Jesus is the truth
I just know Jesus is the life
I know that Jesus is my God

do you serve your name or do you serve mankind
would you feel the same if they took down your sign
could you sit next to me if I was Baptist or Presbyterian
or do I need to be a charismatic or Episcopalian

I don't care if you drink grape juice or if it's wine
and I don't care if you get out of church on time
what does it matter if you praise God with music in your church
or you burn your dead or bury them six feet in the dirt

I just know Jesus is the way
I just know Jesus is the truth
I just know Jesus is the life
I just know Jesus is my God

I don't care if you clap your hands
I don't care if you get out in the aisle and dance
what's it matter if someone lets out a hallelujah shout
have we forgotten what praising Yahweh is all about

I just know Jesus is the way
I just know Jesus is the truth
I just know Jesus is the life
I know that Jesus is my God"

The wonderful thing about this is....I just know Jesus is the truth

This isn't what I ordered.

 I am getting the feeling that in our age of ease and technology we forget the simplest things in life. Buying from  the Internet, you do not receive what you ordered in a timely fashion. You wait in line anywhere and you feel your the one being down out and nobody cares about your needs.
 Well, I stuck my own foot in this one the other day. Jewelz and I went for some quality time together to our favorite local Tex-Mex joint. The seating for the time of day was abundant and being the type of people we are sitting in a booth is always preferred. In the process we were seated in a booth in a section waited upon by a not much older woman than the 2 of us. She truly seemed to not belong in the field of employment she found herself in. We struggled through our order and onto the wait for chips, salsa and drinks. The chips and salsa made it to the table shortly yet our drinks seemed to have gotten lost. time went on and our food arrived, not to the satisfaction of my wife, (though of course she was OK with just taking it as is.) Not me of course, Jewelz asked for our drinks and the server apologized for the mistake, bringing them promptly. By this time in my eyes this little gal ain't gittin' no tip.
   As we finished eating and the check arrived, a thought came to mind......was there some reason out of the diner's staff's control to create the events of our lunch.....Probably so. Forgiveness seemed to be the one item on the check I was supposed to pay for. Matthew 6:14-15 reads: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"

    Another day in the life of........The Idiot. Well Father I hope you have a 24 hour body shop, 'cause this is gonna take awhile.

Tidbits

I have had the desire to post everyday. Sadly there are quite a few distractions in my life. My method of employment is one, as to the others......Well..... You understand. So today I will share a tidbit from Philippians chapter 1:21 which reads: "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." NKJV. Lord, I am not of this world, take from this hell so I may kneel in Your presence and praise Your Holy name for eternity, Amen.

You say potato, I say potatoe..

So my struggle continues...I must let you know that our house is a small house somewhat divided. My gorgeous and very understanding wife is of the L.D.S. faith. My upbringing believes in the Trinity: Three in One, the L.D.S. faith believes that they are Three in One purpose. SO...... According to 3 Nephi 11:14,27,36 from the book of Mormon (B.O.M.), the Trinity exists....I will wait while you search............O.K. so from a "mainstream" Christianity you can see that those words confirm this right? Well as I and my better half "discussed" this portion of Scripture, I had discounted the fact that I had asked God ( before I read this Chapter) to see what He wanted me to see. Not that there are not words here to argue, but of a small verse which became lost. Quietly I asked for guidance, (for my side of the argument) and lo and behold, I received a calming peace. I read over the chapter again to find more ammo, when what do my wandering eyes should read? 3 Nephi 11:29-30  which reads: "For verily, verily, I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold this is not My doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against the other, but this is My doctrine, such things should be done away." BOM. Amazingly I did concede. The Lord had shown me that the importance of whether it be Three in One or Three in One purpose, might not be the argument for the saving of the soul. it seemed that it was how I was to enter into a discussion with an open heart to His guiding touch without contention and a hidden agenda. 2 Timothy 2:14-19 states: "Remind them of these things, charging them before the lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God,a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babblings,for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort.who have strayed according to the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past;and they overthrow the faith of some. Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: "the lord knows those who are His" and, "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity." NKJV
So here I am eating crow as usual.....If it were not for the lord i would be one HUGE cesspool of iniquity (oh wait I am.) Thank you Father for Your grace. Thank you Jewelz for your patience with a broken man.

Words are only words, right?

So I must confess.......I have a potty mouth..... yeah shocking I know, but for those of you that acknowledge intimate relationships with me this is of no surprise. This all came about today as I drove the 120 mile BORING trek back to my neck of the woods after 2 days of freezing rain and the inability to open my truck's door at 6:00 A.M. due to IT WAS FROZEN SOLID!! Anyway the trek home consisted of my mind not on the road but what my ipod spewed forth. The plethora of music on said ipod would curl some toes and make others cover their ears (check out the section "my joyful noise.") the music flowed through my speakers creating the illusion that time was moving much faster than it was. The shuffle option of said device would kick around songs that uplift my soul and others that speak of a much more secular taste. I hadn't fully realized what a difference words make when focusing on things of the Spirit, well today I noticed. Frankly I was quite ashamed about the secular songs in my music library. What does this have to do with my potty mouth you say? First off lets look into Colossians 3:17 which reads:
   "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." NKJV
And Psalms 34:13 says:
   "Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile." KJV
And yet another, possibly my favorite (as far as chastisement goes..) Mathew 15:10-11:
   "When He had called the multitude to Himself, He said, "Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."" NKJV

How humbled I was and as of this moment have the inclination to delete such songs from the library, and yes part of me is sad yet the soul is grateful. The big question of the day is, will it cease the profanity? with the grace of God on my side.....YES. Without His grace I am as good as dead. WENDY'S here I come!!